7:15 PM – I believe this is the first tornado warning we’ve had since I moved to Columbus in 2008. I can’t get into my basement — maintenance uses it for storage, plus there are no walls between the apartments down there, so anybody could get into anybody else’s apartment. Sky looks ugly, but no wind yet. I will stay calm, and prepare for my trip to Oz.
7:30 PM – Still no action from the sky, but the streetlights are glowing an angry red. I’m trying to chose between the bathroom and the closet for a hiding spot. The bathroom has more space, and is farther from any windows, but it has more crap on the counter tops, etc., that might blow around. By the time I get this thought through, the warning will be over.
7:40 PM – Here’s what the National Weather Service gave us: ”At 727 PM EDT, a severe thunderstorm capable of producing a tornado was located over Lake Darby, moving east at 45 mph…” Back in my day, someone actually had to spot a tornado chugging down the Interstate before you’d get a warning. Maybe it’s been so long since the last one, the weather people decided they needed some practice.
7:42 PM – Lay off, social networking friends! A tornado is coming to kill me, for Christ’s Sake! I have to pay attention!
7:46 PM – The warning has expired! But the horn keeps going off. Go home, horn, you’re drunk.